how I am doing mentally
I really underestimated this whole thing mentally. I knew that goodbyes are not easy for me and yet the mental load was way heavier than I imagined. it is not only that you leave your home but you also leave your whole support system behind, all the people you love and count on. for me moving in and buying all the furniture was also very tough, because you wanna have it done as soon as possible so that you feel comfortable, which was just stressful. I was mentally so overwhelmed that on Wednesday I got sick. my body said: stop what you're doing and rest. which I then did and it was very much needed. as the week went on I realised how lonely it is to be in a new country and only knowing about four people. since uni didn't start yet it was also difficult to get to know people. all of these feelings sound very negative and I was comtemplating about even writing about this. but my reality of the first week abroad was just like this. I was way too overwhelmed with emotions and feelings that I was not able to appreciate my situation and the privilege I have. but I know that everything is temporary and things will get better. also my friends and my boyfriend really have been the biggest supporters ever, which made it so much easier for me. on Sunday, the most difficult goodbye was yet ahead: saying goodbye to my boyfriend and doing long-distance for the first time. and it was true, it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my whole life. it felt like heartbreak. but the beautiful thing about it is that actually my heart is not broken. I still have him in my life and we're in this together.